Lesson 29 - FAULT FINDERS AND COMPLAINERS

Doesn't it seem that some people were put into this world for no other reason than to aggravate you? Ed Howe

Characteristics: They...
Whine and complain. Find fault with everything around them.

Blame others. Have a tone of voice that infers that it is someone else's fault and someone else should do something about it.

Seem to produce an endless list of complaints. May complain to you about a coworker and then go to someone else and complain about you.

Their thoughts/feelings/intentions:
"Don't expect me to do anything to fix problems; I'm helpless to do anything about them."
"If you listen to my complaint, you will stay on my good side."
"Don't get on my bad side or I will complain about you too."
"Things are not perfect but they should be and I am the only one who seems to notice."
"I am right, so you better listen it do me."

Our typical thoughts/feelings:
"Maybe this office does have real problems that can't be solved. I feel discouraged and frustrated."

"Am I so blind I can't see these problems? I'm confused."

"How can I stop him/her from sitting in my office and complaining all the time, yet still be friends? I feel helpless."

To deal with fault finders/complainers: (our intentions/actions)
Don't take the bait. When complainers play games trying to get you into a triangle with someone else, don't take sides.

Learn to cut off the conversation with statements that set time limits or other priorities.

Know when to ignore. Complainers want a listening ear. Teach them you aren't hearing the useless complaints they bring up. Acknowledge only the important ones.

Don't agree. If you agree or say anything that implies possible agreement, you simply reinforce the complaining.

Push for solutions. Try to move the complainer from complaining to problem solving.

Don't expect them to change. Don't become their water cooler buddy.


Assignment 16: Dealing with Fault Finders and Complainers

Case example - Disturbed Librarian
You are a librarian. Karen, one of your co-workers, stops by your desk and says, "There was a 75 cent error in the cash reconcilement yesterday and George(head librarian) is blaming it on me. He asked me if I was sure I checked the receipts when I took over the desk at noon. I told him if he only realized how careful I am, he wouldn't be bringing this up to me. I always check. You know what?I think someone may be taking money from the cash box. I can't be held accountable for what the morning workers do at the desk. I think there should be a different system for keeping track of the receipts. Don't you agree?"

Briefly describe how you would deal with Karen using the COPE procedure. State your major objectives, select a strategy that might work, and indicate what you would say to Karen to implement the strategy.

Center Self (How would you center yourself?)

Objectives (What are your short and long range goals?)

Plans (What response strategy or strategies would fit your goals?)

Execute Plan (What statement would you make to the person that fits your response strategy? Please write it out.)


Send this assignment as an email to the Instructor, Marshall Chatwin

Then go to Lesson 30 (Application Report - Plan)


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