Lesson - 28 - BACK STABBERS AND SNIPERS

Characteristics: They...

Love to take pot shots at people. Can stab with words --put-downs, digs, criticism and false rumors. Like to tease and make jokes at the expense of others.

Love to hide out and if confronted will pretend they have done nothing.

Often twist the truth, saying things about coworkers that are part true and part false.

The thoughts/feelings/intentions of three backstabber/sniper types:
(1) "I am angry about how things have turned out and I am mad at those who thwarted my plans and will get even." (2) "I have a good plan and will undermine anyone who poses a threat to it." (3) "I like to tease people just for laughs."

Our typical thoughts/feelings:
"Maybe she/he is right; maybe I'm not doing as well as I should. I feel incompetent."

"Who keeps saying these terrible things about me? I am suspicious, paranoid and angry."

"Does everyone else think the same thing? I'm unsure what's going on."

"I can't do anything to stop him/her. I feel helpless."

To deal with Back Stabbers and Snipers: (our intentions/actions)
Don't give them" wet blanket" power. Don't let them steal your energy..

Don't over react or argue. Don't start a fight.

Interrupt yourself and focus on what they have said. Repeat it or acknowledge it by making reference to it and then ask a straight forward question, such as "George, tell me what you are saying about this project."

If back stabbers make untrue comments about you confront them in private. Don't allow them to think they can get away with it. Be ready for their denial response. Don't argue. Just let them be aware that you caught them. .

If snipers come on with statements designed to tease you or provoke you, don't fall into their traps. Ignore them or use the fogging technique. If you don't react you're no fun to tease.

Assignment 15: Dealing with Back Stabbers and Snipers

Case example - Back stabbing Co-Worker
You work for a company that makes specialty dolls for collectors. You have an idea for a new product line of dolls patterned after the Greek goddesses. You have made drawings and prepared a report for your boss which you will present tomorrow. A few of your co-workers know about your project. You overhear Lisa, a co-worker talking to Liz, another worker.

Lisa says, "This idea sounds like it came from her dreams. I hope the boss doesn't agree to manufacture these things. They will never sell."

Briefly describe how you might deal with Lisa using the COPE procedure. State your major objectives, select a strategy that might work, and indicate what you would say to implement the strategy.

Center Self (How would you center yourself?)

Objectives (What are your short and long range goals?)

Plans (What response strategy or strategies would fit your goals?)

Execute Plan (What statement would you make to the person that fits your response strategy? Please write it out.)

Send this assignment as an email to the Instructor, Marshall Chatwin

Then go to Lesson 29.

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