Lesson 27 - OVER AGREEABLES
Characteristics: They... Have a high desire to please and are super nice. Will agree to things they may not be able to do or won't support later, just so they won't have to say no. Thus, they commit themselves to do things they can't do, or don't really have time to do, or don't really want to do.
Do try to accomplish what they take on and if they can't follow through with their promises, they ususally make excuses or give explanations as to why the job didn't get done.
Have a strong need to be liked and approved and will do whatever it takes to get people to like them.
"I am nice to you, so you owe it to me to be nice back." "When I say 'yes,' I really mean 'yes.' I'll find some way to complete the job. If it doesn't work out, I'll feel terrible."
"Don't ask me what I want or like, I don't want to reveal myself."
Our typical thoughts/feelings: "Do I come on so strong that this person is afraid to disagree? I'm confused."
"Why won't he just speak up for himself? I don't understand."
"I guess I should be nice back because this person is so nice to me. I feel guilty."
"I never get any feedback. I can't tell if I am doing the right thing. I feel frustrated."
To deal with Over Agreeables: (our intentions/actions) Make them feel comfortable enough to express their feelings and concerns so that if they accept a commitment it will be completed.
Make it easy for them to disagree or bring up problems they see.
Help them decide. Assist them to identify and sort through priorities.
There may be concerns and issues that Over Agreeables are keeping private. Learn to dig these out so they can be resolved.
Once a decision has been made, continue to provide encouragement and support. Be sure to check in with them often to see how the project is going. Teach task-management skills as needed.
Assignment 14: Dealing with Over Agreeables
Case example - Pleasing Employee Joe is liked by everyone. He is one of the nicest employees you could ever have. He is so nice, he has a great deal of difficulty saying no. As a result, people in the office ask him to help out with various duties and projects that he ends up overburdened and over committed. He is, however, a conscientious worker and is especially knowledgeable in research methodology and statistics. Your department has been asked to prepare an important research project and you think Joe has the knowledge and technical skills to do it. You would like to have him work on the project.
Briefly describe how to approach this situation using the COPE procedure. State your major objectives, select a strategy or strategies that might work, and indicate what you would say to Joe to implement the strategy.
Center Self (How would you center yourself?)
Objectives (What are your short and long range goals?)
Plans (What response strategy or strategies would fit your goals?)
Execute Plan (What statement would you make to the person that fits your response strategy? Please write it out.)
Send this assignment as an email to the Instructor, Marshall Chatwin
Then go to Lesson 28
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