Lesson 21 - USE A DIVERSION

"I can't come to work because my grandmother passed away." I thought your grandmother passed away last year? "Well she did but this time it was for real."

A diversion is a way of diverting a person's comment or conversation to some other topic. In some cases it it designed to change the subject, to quickly move the conversation in another direction. In other cases it might be classified as a kind of deception. It might be the "white" lie that saves face or makes us look a little better than we are, the "kind" truth rather than an "unkind" truth, or the exaggeration used to make a point. It could also provide a smoke screen to cover up a problem, a manipulation to help us get what we want, or the convoluted political conniving process used in the fight for power over limited resources or control of others. Diversions and "kind" truths may have a place in the communication repertoire of the individual depending on ones objectives. For example, it is sometimes more important to be diplomatic than truthful.

Consider this. What if you always had to say what you were really thinking?
"Your baby's head is so misshaped. Do you think it will ever be normal?"
"Your fingers are very short for such a tall person."
"Your speech was so poorly organized, I didn't get your point."

Sometimes the ethic on honesty has to be subservient to the ethic of caring. This is not to say that you should not provide constructive criticism or say what is really on your mind. It is a matter of how it is said, under what circumstances and your reason for saying it. Each person has to decide whether using a diversion in a particular situation is or is not appropriate.

We all use minor deceptions, diversions or "kind truths" from time to time.
"Your baby is just a doll."
"The check is in the mail."
"I couldn't have done it better myself."
"I was just about to call you."
"That's very interesting."
"I'll get right back to you."
"It's your color."
List other examples you have heard lately.

Here are some other examples of the use of a diversion as a communication strategy in difficult or pressured situations:

It happened in Monterey. A woman got an obscene phone call.
She interrupted the caller by saying. "I'm really interested. I've been waiting for your call. Give me your address and your name. I'll be right over." He give her his name and address and she called the police. They went right to his house and arrested him.

Mothers and fathers are probably the most adept at the use of the technique of minor deception. "Oh, Junior! Look, there's a bird on the fireplace." There is no bird on the fireplace but Junior is about to throw a vase through the living room window.

Secretaries may be put in a position of having to use a diversion strategy. For example:
Secretary: "Mr. Jones would be happy to talk to you, Mr. Smith."
(Mr. Jones shakes his head no!)
Secretary: "But he can't come to the phone right now."
(Pick a reason)
1) "He's away from his desk right now."
2) "He's just leaving to the airport."
3) "He's in conference."
4) "He's finishing up a very important report."
5) "He's on his way to the rest room."
6) "He's having an argument with his wife."
6) "He's having gum surgery."
7) "He's on his way out to get a brain transplant."

A woman comes to the produce department in a large supermarket and tells a produce clerk she wants to buy a half of a head of lettuce. The produce clerk goes back to ask the produce manager about this unusual request and says, "There's a crazy woman out there who wants to buy a half head of lettuce." Just then he notices that the woman has followed him back and has heard what he said. So he quickly adds, "And this sweet lady here wants to buy the other half."

What are some minor deceptions/diversions you have used recently?

I'll bet you're ready for a short diversion. Before you go on the the next lesson which is on problem solving, see if you can count the dots in this visual illusion problem.

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