Lesson 18 - TAKE A TIME OUT

"Out of my mind - be back in five minutes."

To take a time out is to take a break to get your bearings or regroup your forces so that you can better deal with the problem at a later time. Taking a time out is not a permanent withdrawal, but a temporary retreat.

Below are three examples illustrating how asking for a time out may be the most appropriate action to take under the circumstances.

1. You have been on a new assignment for one month. You feel good about your work. You believe you have been doing a good job. You meet with your supervisor for your first performance appraisal. After the usual greetings, your supervisor hands you the performance appraisal sheet.
Supervisor: "As you can see from this appraisal sheet, your overall work performance is rated five on a scale of ten. There are a number of improvements you need to make. They are described on the sheet. If you would sign it at the bottom, I'll give you a copy."
You: "I'd would appreciate some time to look over the ratings and the suggestions. Could you give me a copy to look over? I can meet with you tomorrow morning if it fits in your schedule."
If you get the time out period, use some of it to carefully examine the report and collect your thoughts. You can study the suggestions and scrutinize the ratings. You may find that some of the suggestions are not clear. You may need further clarification regarding the suggestions. If so, you can plan how to phrase the questions you want to ask your supervisor. When you meet with your supervisor again, you will be on balance and ready to respond appropriately.

2. You work for a large west coast mail order company in the shipping department. Your supervisor calls you in for a meeting.
Supervisor: "I appreciate the work you have been doing here. As you may have heard we are installing a computer system in the shipping department. I hope it will facilitate the shipping process and relieve the paperwork that you and the others have been burdened with. I would like you to attend a three week computer training session in Florida beginning three weeks from today. Can you attend?"
You: "I can't give you a definite answer right now. I would like some time to think about it and see what I can arrange. Can I get back to you tomorrow?"
Good request! Now you can take some time to consider this opportunity and to work out any other arrangements that may be necessary.

3. You are a graduate student in geology at a large University. It is one week before the end of the term and two weeks before the meeting for your thesis defense with your committee. You are enrolled in the last of your required classes this quarter. The instructor is on your thesis committee. Being a warm day you decide not to wear shoes to class. He notices that you are barefoot and refuses to allow you to enter the classroom without shoes. You invoke the "Taft-Hartley injunction for dyadic relationships." You need a time out. So, you leave to find someone to loan you some shoes.

4. You are the chair of a committee assigned to come up with recommendations for solving a company problem. The members of the committee make a number of suggestions, but none of the suggestions seem to be adequate or appropriate for dealing with the problem. You think a time out would be helpful; it might provide an opportunity for fresh ideas to emerge. You say, "We have all presented a number of solutions to the problem, but none of them seem to be right. I think we need some time to let these ideas simmer for awhile. How about meeting again tomorrow afternoon?"

When it doesn't feel like the right time, the right place or the right context, consider taking a time out. It usualy happens that when you take some time to think about things, you regain your perspective and things become much clearer.

DO NOTHING

"In some situations the best weapon to hold is your tongue."

To do nothing is to choose not to respond. This does not mean that you actually do nothing. You do something other than take action regarding the problem. You make a conscious choice not to deal with the problem or situation by not reacting to it directly. For example, you are attending a family reunion. Uncle Harry enjoys needling you about not being married. "After all, you are 26," he says. One way to handle this jibe is to choose to ignore it. You don't have to respond to his attempt to provoke you into a reaction. You don't have to play his game.

Another example, you live alone and come home early from work one day to find the door you locked is now ajar. You would be wise not to burst into the room to find out who might be there. There is a chance that someone is in your house and that this person (a burglar for example) will not be happy to see you. Statistics show that when someone interrupts a burglary in progress there is a 30 percent chance that the interrupter will be attacked by the burglar. What should you do in this predicament? Do nothing which may risk your life. Do something about the situation. Go to the neighbor. Call the police. Make a lot of noise. Send in a large unfriendly dog.

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