Lesson 5 - PARAPHRASING

Paraphrasing is part of the skill of listening. It is nothing more than restating in your own words what you heard the person say. You say back to the person what you got so you can check it out.

It is also called reflective listening, active listening or listening with understanding. The skill involves four steps: (1) Listen carefully to the message, (2) Identify its essential content and/or feeling, (3) Paraphrase, that is, state the content and/or feeling of the message in your own words, and (4). Check the person's reaction to confirm or deny your impression.

Paraphrasing is not just repeating what the person said. Don't just word swap. This is "parroting" not paraphrasing. One difficulty some people have in using a paraphrase is that they fail to act like a sponge when listening to others when they speak. Instead of soaking up every word, they don't really listen. An accurate paraphrase is then difficult because the "listener" did not really hear what the person said.

Adding this skill to your tool kit can by itself make tremendous improvements in the communication and conflict resolution process. It facilitates communication because it encourages each person to really listen to the other, it lets the other person know that the meaning of the message was received, and helps keep distorted messages to a minimum. In addition, paraphrasing actually confirms the other person's being. It not only says, "I am listening", " I understand what you are saying", but "I appreciate its importance to you", "I confirm your right to believe or feel the way you do", "You are important."

It is not the goal of effective interpersonal communication to paraphrase, or actively listen to everyone all the time. The skill of paraphrasing may be appropriately applied when someone...
(1) comes to you with a problem.
(2) is trying to communicate an idea or solution.
(3) gives you constructive feedback.
(4) needs a "door opener" - an opportunity to talk.

(5) just wants to complain.

Paraphrase Practice Exercises

1. You are a supervisor in a library. One of the clerks comes to you and says, "While I was the National Archives Library, I got copies of these information sheets that explain how to use the computer reference materials. I think we could use them as a format for making some up for our patrons."

In this example, write a paraphrase of the idea presented in the message (the content of the message). Restate the person's basic thoughts or ideas.

2. A co-worker comes to you and says, "I like my job with this company and I think I have made a lot of progress. I wish they would promote me to a management position."

In this example, write a paraphrase that includes both the idea presented (the content of the message) and the feeling (the emotion expressed or implied in the message).

Minute Paper - Lesson 5: Please review the main ideas presented in this lesson and respond to this question. "What was the most useful point you learned?" If you want, please include your thoughts/comments about the best part of this material, the muddiest point presented, any mistakes you noticed, or difficulties you may have with hardware or software.

Send your Minute Paper as an email to the Instructor, Marshall Chatwin

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