Lesson 3

AWARENESS WHEEL

Lesson 3 - TYPES OF TALK AND THE AWARENESS WHEEL

"By their talk ye shall know them." The Bible?

"Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand."

TYPES OF TALK

One way to better understand communication is to classify it into types. Here are five types: (1) Small talk, (2) Light Control talk, (3) Heavy Control talk, (4) Passive Control talk, (5) Search talk There is also another important type of communication called Straight Talk, but we won't deal with it here because it's one of 12 specific communication strategies to be discussed and practiced later on.

Below is a summary and activity dealing with these five types. Read the following descriptions of the types of talk and write some examples of each type. (By the way, the previous sentence is an example of Light Control talk.)

1. Small Talk: Chatty, sociable conversation, casual in content, sometimes joking, with little feeling expressed, friendly without tension. Example: "Nice weather today."

2. Light Control - Firm autocratic, authoritative but polite, pragmatic, unhostile. Example: "Please take the trash out at the end of your shift."

3. Heavy Control - Demanding, blaming, aggressive, accusing, harsh, sarcastic, argumentative, threatening. Example: "How many times to I have to tell you to take the trash out?"

4. Passive Control - Self-deprecating, manipulating, guilt producing, indirectly influencing. "Now see what's happened. You didn't take the trash out and I get blamed for it."

5. Search Talk: Exploring, seeking, questioning, analyzing, information seeking. "I'm wondering if you heard me mention that you should take the trash out before leaving?"

Identifying Types of Talk Quiz- Take this quiz to test your skill.
For each of the statements below indicate which type of talk it represents:

1. Small Talk
2. Light Control
3. Heavy Control
4. Search Talk

1. Read my lips. How many times do I have to tell you before you get the message?
2. Please turn off the computer before you leave.
3. We should send Joe a get well card.
4. You really did a good job on that report.
5 I'm wondering if I should tell them we are waiting for another offer.
6. My new desk chair is already broken.
7. Don't ask me. I don't know a thing about it.
8. I like to watch football on TV and listen to the radio broadcast of the game at the same time.
9. What specifically did you say to him that made him so angry?
10. How was lunch?

11. I know you are used to leaving two spaces after a period when you type, but with word
processors only one space is recommended.

12. I wonder if it will look as good if I leave only one space rather than two?

13. Hey, don't tell me about this space business. I'm used to doing it this way; I'm not about to change.

14. Sometimes I wonder if there are people on other planets.

THE AWARENESS WHEEL*

While the physical scientists have many tools to help them perform their tasks, such as scales, scopes, ohmmeters, etc., the behavioral scientists have few. The Awareness Wheel is one of these few. It's not a tool you grasp with your hand, but with your mind. Once you learn what it is and how it works, you can use it: (1) To tap into your mental processes in any given situation especially those with difficult people, and (2) To help you explore and understand the thoughts, feelings, actions and intentions of others.

* From: Straight Talk, Miller, P and Miller S., Signet Books, N.Y., 1991

The Sections of the Wheel

The sections of the Awareness Wheel represent the five pieces of information in any given moment of human interaction as follows:

Sense Data - Sensing - What we see, hear, smell, taste and feel.
This section of the wheel represents the input of raw data from people, things and events in our environment which continually bombards our senses. Through a process of attention and perception we bring stimuli into our awareness.

Thoughts - The meanings we make out of the sensory data we receive.
This section represents the fact that we give meaning to our sense data. It is the interpretation or construction we place on events. Influenced by the core of our personality and its beliefs, as well as our ideals and values, we construe events into a meaningful framework of understanding.

Feelings/Emotions - Six basic emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, surprise.
Feelings are a part of our processing of events and are related to our thoughts. Some events may trigger feelings even before we have a chance to think about them. Other events are "worked on" by thoughts before the feelings are apparent. Feelings in this segment refer to the emotional states inside ourselves. Negative or positive feelings may result from the way we interpret events.

Intentions/Wants - Our desires for ourselves and for others, short or long term, general or specific.
This segment represents our wants, desires, wishes, or preferences as well as what we don't want, desire, wish or prefer. They can be stated in terms of behaviors, attitudes, or beliefs. They can also stated as goals or objectives. Sometimes they may even be in conflict with each other.

Actions/Doing - What we say and do - our verbal and non-verbal behaviors.
This section represents what we have done or are now doing. Examples of actions include all our behaviors, activities, agreements, commands, commitments, contracts, promises, as well as, non-verbal communication such as gestures, facial expressions, etc. Note that our actions become someone else's sense data. What we intend to do is still in the realm of intention and, therefore, fits in the previous section

The Core - The part of the Awareness Wheel designated as the Core represents the storehouse of knowledge, beliefs and attitudes derived from our experiences in the cultural setting we grew up in. These core beliefs and values determine how we interpret Sense Data. Here are some examples:
(1) You notice a tall person dressed like a male. (Sense data) Your knowledge which is based on your experience tells you that most males in our society dress a certain way. (Core) Therefore, you conclude is that this person is a male. (Interpretation/Thought)
(2) You observe a person wearing a ring on the fourth finger of the left hand. (Sense data) Your knowledge is that this is the customary wedding band. (Core) You conclude that this person is married. (Interpretation/Thought)
(3) If someone forgets to call you to let you know that they can't attend the meeting you had scheduled with them (Sense data), you may interpret their behavior in a number of ways. For example, whether you construe it as malice or stupidity depends on your core beliefs and attitudes. Sometimes things are believed before they are seen.

Applying the Concept of Awareness Wheel

Example - Wake up call
Every weekday morning at 6:30 AM my radio/clock alarm sounds its 30 second wake up call. This buzzing sound unavoidably reaches my ears, is perceived by my sleeping brain and thus, becomes my sense data. I immediately interpret this sound as meaning that it is time to get up. A number of thoughts go quickly through my mind such as, "Oh no, is it 6:30 already." "I better get up and take a shower before all the hot water is used up." I feel annoyed at the alarm for waking me up from a sound sleep. I want to stay in bed for a few minutes longer, so my action is to reach out and press the snooze button on the radio/clock which gives me five more minutes of blissful sleep.

Note that you could ride the Awareness Wheel of constantly changing experience all day long. But don't. Just memorize it for now and keep it handy in your psychological toolbox. You will need it later in the course to formulate straight talk messages, to focus and center yourself during verbal barrages, and you will apply it in it the COPE process for dealing with difficult people.

Please take this quiz. It may help you clarify and memorize the parts of the Wheel.

Awareness Wheel Quiz

Identify each of the statements listed below as... (1) Sense data (2) Interpretation (thought) (3) Feeling (emotion)
(4) Intention (want)
(5) Action

Assume you are the one saying...

1. I'd like to talk to you about buying a new car.
2. I'm sure she loves me.
3. I'm excited about my new job.
4. You're not listening to me.
5. Yesterday you said you didn't plan to go.
6. She's an excellent worker.
7. I went to the stationary store on my way back from lunch.
8. I want to start as soon as possible.
9. He told me all about his trip to Hawaii.
10. I'd like to take a trip like that.
11. I'm listening.
12. I will take the mail to the post office first thing tomorrow morning.

Rolling on with the Wheel

One of the best ways to learn something is to explain it to someone else. I suggest you find someone willing to listen to you (such as a friend, family person or even a pet) and explain the concept of the Awareness Wheel to him/her. As a result you might be better able to keep it rolling around in your head so you can easily refer to it as needed later on in the course.

Assignment 1: Awareness Wheel Application Question (Lesson 3)

1. Explain how the Awareness Wheel model can serve as a psychological tool (1) to help you understand your own mental process, beliefs, actions, etc. and (2) to help you better understand others.

Send this assignment as an email to the Instructor, Marshall Chatwin

After that, go on to Lesson 4.

To Lesson 4

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